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Dr. Doris on Internet Addiction

by patndoris on Jun.09, 2007,under Science?

Internet addiction? Who came up with such a silly phrase? Actually, I believe it was originally coined as a joke, but the medical community decided to jump on it and make it “real.” I guess once in a while they choose some other hobby (like gambling) to pick on, but internet addiction is often the flavor of the week. Just how much do you suppose they make treating such an awful, awful addiction? Hmmm....imagine the money we could make offering ONLINE treatment for internet addiction! I stumbled upon this simple quiz from Netaholics Anonymous to see if you’re addicted to the internet…but as usual, I felt compelled to add my own spin to it.

Follow up:

10. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
(You mean everyone doesn’t do this? How ever can you keep your inbox pruned to a reasonable number of emails, say less than 50 at any give time, if you don’t check it every chance you get? And one never knows when one might get an offline – must check those while up right? While you’re at it – pop onto your 360. Never know if you’ve had a sudden flurry of activity there. Now, if I could only remember why I got out of bed at 3 a.m….)

9. You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
(Well…I’ve no tattoos….but I like them. Perhaps I’ll look into this. I would really prefer to it to say IE7.0, although I’m thinking the little YH smilie or the WLM creepy green guy would be kind of cute too.)

8. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom. (Now I’m not so sure about these as names for kids. You really must give this one some thought. When a bigger better program comes out, support for your child might be discontinued. And if your favorite name now falls out of favor with you at some point, can you imagine being constantly reminded of the problems that drove you away – every time you see your child? However, pets would be quite cute with these names. I think Firefox, Skype or Yahoo would be quite adorable as well.)

7. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
(Does this one truly need any commentary from the peanut gallery? I think we’ve all felt this before haven’t we? Worse yet is the unexpected loss of a modem – it’s so much harder to deal with when you didn’t get to say goodbye….I mean shut down properly.)

6. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.(The way I see it, once you put the kids in the overhead, and they realize there’s no escape, they’ll stop crying and accept it. They’re safe up there, although they may shift during takeoff and landing - so please be careful when retrieving them. I don’t recommend sticking them under the seat in front of you. Not only does it decrease your leg room, but they may figure a way out of it. Just think! No screaming seat-kicking kids for the whole flight! I see nothing wrong with this one.)

5. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
(Frugality is a wonderful lesson to learn. The earlier the better in my opinion. If someone else is footing the bill for the education, why not stay for the free internet?)

4. You laugh at people with 2400-baud modems.
(LOL…LMAO…ROFL! Does ANYONE have a modem this slow anymore?)

3. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
(It all started with pen and paper. And what goes around comes around. Logic dictates, this is quite reasonable. However, I really don't use much snail mail so it's really not a problem for me.)

2. The last mate you picked up was a JPEG.
(Well, perhaps a JPEG for a first date. I recommend an MP4 or considering webcam for anything more serious. Sorry –bit of an inside joke LOL.)

1. Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem. You succeed.
(Hmmm…I never thought of that! I’m definitely going to try it next time.)

So, tell me how you did? I'd post a poll, but I get far more enjoyment out of reading comments (especially when I get up at 3a.m. to go to the bathroom LOL.) For further reading check out this humorous site: Internet Addiction - Fact of Fiction

(Originally posted on my Yahoo360 6/9/07)
:disorders, science?
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