patndoris TechnoGeek

It usually happens somewhere after the software agreement (and the obligatory “Yes - I agree” because if I don’t agree I can’t have your program) and just before the “Installation Complete” message. It’s insidious…it’s evil….it’s barbaric…well, it’s not really that bad…but it’s the additional crap programs like to install when you didn’t want them to (and better yet may not have even been warned it was going to do.)

This blog entry is my public service announcement. (OK well, it’s really my second public service announcement because I did it once before a couple of years ago but I feel compelled to do it again - and I said that all in one breath.) No…I wasn’t really bad and the Internet police are not making me do something repentant to make up for my evil ways. But I do think many people don’t know, don’t care, or don’t know what to look for when they install new programs. (I can say this with surety because of the sheer number of toolbars I see in people’s browsers.)  It’s something everyone should stop and think about when they click download, and go thru the (often) numerous following prompts. Tell the truth…most of you probably click download…yes I agree to whatever nonsense you’ve got that agreement I didn’t bother to read…uh-huh sure put it in whatever directory you want…yes…Yes…YES! Just use the standard installation options already! Oh come on! just get on with this PLEASE!!! Hmmm (knowing smirk)…that sound familiar?? But you SHOULD take time to look at those little checkboxes, radio buttons and options - or I fear you may sooner or later (if you’ve not had it happen already) be sorry. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…(And I’m just the kind to tell you I told you so - so pay attention now!)

Don’t get me wrong! I don’t mind in the least when a program asks if I want a desktop icon, or to add the program to my quick launch items, or even when it asks after installation if I want to run the program now. No - those are all fine and dandy. It’s those other things I have a problem with. My biggest pet peeve is the additional toolbars. Sometimes you have an option to opt out of them, sometimes not. Although I feel compelled to point out (in all fairness - well at least a little fairness) most toolbars can be uninstalled later. But how many people stop to even notice a toolbar is about to miraculously appear the next time they open their browser? (And some toolbars can be a conduit for spyware or malware might I add - but not all of them.) I’d venture to say quite a lot of people simply let programs install whatever they want - or else they wouldn’t bother even trying to install useless items like toolbars. I mean really….how many search boxes do you really need at the top of your screen to better enhance your internet experience??

The reason I despise toolbars so is because of the pop up blockers inherent in almost all of them these days. Many programs from games to instant messengers are “sensitive” sorts. No, they don’t give a hoot about how you’re doing today, but they do care if pop up blockers are enabled. Have you ever had the joy of trying to determine in text, or even voice, what additional toolbars someone has installed and get them to understand that pop up blockers need to be disabled not only in their browser but also in ALL toolbars they may have installed? (And using multiple browsers at the same time such as IE and AOL, or IE and Firefox, or AOL and Firefox…and on and on….can be just as bad. They all have their own pop up blockers that can interfere if you don’t stop to think about them.) I will admit I have a couple toolbars in addition to the standard browser, but I’m always careful to turn off blockers straight away so I don’t run into troubles. I know pop ups can be annoying, maddening, and even bad - but I like to see mine - sometimes they have valuable information I may want to see.

Oh yes! How bout those lovely messages that pop up going “so and so wants to change your default search engine what do you want me to do?” Well Mr. Internet browser, if you’re smart enough to ask me that, how come you aren’t smart enough to ask me before letting a program install another toolbar in you? Huh? Huh?! And c’mon HOW MANY TIMES do I have to tell you not to change anything? Don’t you ever learn? Leave my search engine and start page alone! Alas….talking to my browser and thinking it will answer back has been futile. It’s like my 19 year old male offspring - communicating only when it feels like doing so.

OK, so enough about toolbars, how bout other browsers, optional components, browser plugins, they’re all part of many installations. And the auto updaters that run when you start your computer slowing your boot time. How bout those? I just love the programs like Real Player and Quicktime that seem to forget every single stinking time I update them I tell them NOT to do that - and yet, after each update my settings have changed back to what they want them to be! I wonder….just what could have done that?? Hmmm……no options to stop the nonsense. And how bout those ads for the PAID version you should upgrade to? Um….does that mean the free version is somehow substandard? Just what magical things does the full version do that the free one won’t to justify the probably outlandish amount of money they want? And my current favorite….OTHER SOFTWARE. Really now, if I wanted additional software (like Open Office) I think I would have gone and installed it already don’t you? I don’t need some other program to tell me it’s out there and oh by the way I can go get it and install it for you too while I over-write your current preferences and launch at startup next time you reboot. Please install this other program so I can distract you from the other crud I’m going to dump on your computer and into your browser.

I feel as if I should be standing in a pulpit, waving a knowing finger at my congregation, warning them of the lurking evils of program installation. Fire and brimstone are about to fall from the sky….no wait…I’m just getting hot because my blood pressure is going up thinking about the petty annoyances from installations, upgrades and updates. It’s a conspiracy I tell you! Bottom line - be careful when you install new programs. Look at your choices and be aware of what’s going on your computer (at least as much as you can be.)

I’m pretty sure the Ten Commandments of Program Installation should read something like this:

1. Thou shall not install unwanted additional toolbars.
2. Thou shall not hijack or change the users start page.
3. Thou shall not try to change the users default search engine.
4. Thou shall not install useless browser plugins.
5. Thou shall not display annoying advertisements.
6. Thou shall inform the user of all items over and above the basic program you will be installing.
7. Thou shall give the user the option not to install any of said options you may think are either useful or are making additional revenue from (and will make this choice obvious - not a buried link in the middle of other text.)
8. Thou shall not run at startup unless the user had said it is okay to do so, and will not automatically check for updates without express consent from user.
9. Thou shall not try to sell updates to your free program every time the user opens your program, or lure the user into downloading other unrelated software.
10. Thou shall remember the user for without him you are nothing.

Amen.